Worship, Rites and Sex

When is sex not permitted :

A. Menstruation
It has been mentioned that vaginal sexual intercourse is not permitted while the woman is menstruating. Physical intimacy to any other degree is allowed during menstruation. The prophet said in this respect: "Do everything but intercourse." (Anas) Aisha, the prophet's wife, reported that when the prophet wanted to make love during her period, he would order her to Cover her private parts with a dress, and he made love excluding vaginal intercourse". (all six reporters )

B. Fasting
Sex is also prohibited in the days of Ramadan while fasting. When fasting was first decreed abstinence included day and night. One day a muslim Arab went to the prophet saying: Apostle of God. I am doomed. Asked why? he said I had sex with my wife while fasting. The prophet advised: Do you have means to free a slave? The man said: No! The prophet said: Can you feed sixty needy people? The man said: No. The prophet went into his house and brought a basket full of dates, gave it to the man and said: Give this to the poor. The man said: I can't figure anyone poorer than our household. The prophet smiled and said: Then take it and feed it to your family. (Abu Huraira) After that, it was revealed in the Quran that sex is permissible during the night in Ramadan but not during the period of fasting from dawn to sunset:

"Permitted to you on the night of the fasts is the approach to your wives, they are your garments and you are their garments. God knows what you used to do secretly among yourselves but He turned to you and forgave you. So now associate with them and seek what God has ordained for you". (2: 187)

Kissing and intimacies like hugging are permitted provided they do not lead up to orgasm. Aisha, the prophet's wife reported: The prophet, peace and prayer be upon him, used to kiss in Ramadan.but he had perfect control over his desire (and so avoiding orgasm). Non orgasmic secretions that ensue upon sexual excitation (in men and women) are not incompatible with fasting.

C. The Puerperium
After childbirth or miscarriage sex is postponed until the puerperium is over and the lochial discharge ceases. The maximal period of puerperium is six weeks. The woman then takes her ritual bath and can resume prayer,  fasting a.nd marital relations.

D. Hajj and Umra
As long as man or woman are in Ihram (intention at the start of hajj  or umra, with special form of dress for men) sex or its physical or verbal  prodramata are not permitted. Proposal to marry , as well as the marriage  contract (and marriage itself) are not to be done until the rites are concluded and Ihram is over. The prophet said: "A person in Ihram is not to marry, get maited or propose to marry." (Muslim)

E. Medical or ethical situations during which sex would be harmful or unwelcome.

The Ritual Bath: (ghusl)

After sexual intercourse a ritual bath is mandatory (for both men and Women). The same applies even if intercourse did not lead to orgasm, if the penis of the man has touched the vulva. Orgasmic experiences outside sexual intercourse, including night dreams, are treated on the same footing, by both men and women. It is reported that a lady called Um-Saleem asked the prophet: Does a woman have to take a (ghusl) bath If she experiences a night dream? The prophet answered: "Yes. If she sees the wetness (of orgasm). " (the two sheiks)

After all these sexual phenomena, tht man or woman are described to be "junub" until this ritual bath is taken. It should be remembered that the same bath is due also after the cessation of menstruation and at the conclusion of the puerperium. The bath removes the status of' 'janabah ' , and enables the person to resume prayer, fasting and hajj and/or umra again. Of the rituals ofHajj, only "tawaf" necessitates "tuhr" (non-junub) as well as wodou (ablution). The other steps necessitate "tuhr" only. The same bath, "ghusl" is also performed prior to burial of a dead  muslim male or female.

The method of' 'ghusl is the same for men and women, the Water generously bathing all the body, except that a woman has the option not to undo her braids (or hair-do). provided the Water reaches the origins ofher hair. A woman asked the prophet peace be upon him: I do my hair into braids, do I have to undo them when I have "janabah"? The prophet answered:

"It is enough to pour On your head a handful of water three times then generously flood water Over your body, and you have attained 'tuhr'. " (Ahmad; Muslim: Termizi)

Husband and wife may share the same stock of water for their ghusl, and may do their ghusl together and from the same basin or container of water, as Aisha the prophet's wife, repOrted to do that with him. The "ghusl" can do for both tuhr and wodou (ablution).

If water is not available, or its use is contraindicated by illness or other duress (for example extremely cold weather for someone who happens to have no means of warming some water), but the general rule of  resorting to "tayammum" (tuhr and ablution using dry clean dust symbolically to wipe hands and face) is applied so that worship is not to be missed, until water becomes available. Prayers undertaken through tayammum need not be later repeated.